Your Favorite Band Sucks

T. Rex Sucks

August 18, 2022

There are only two types of music that have this many “fa la la la la”s in the lyrics, T. Rex songs and Christmas songs, and it’s still summertime so you know this ain’t no Christmas episode. Nevertheless, we come bearing a gift: clear-eyed analysis of one of the most infantile, overrated and pretentious musical projects of all time. Hey, Bolan, if your music sounds like the soundtrack to a ten year old kid playing with imaginary friends in an enchanted forest, go ahead and don’t name the band after one of the most fearsome apex predators to ever exist, okay?

The Talking Heads Suck

August 4, 2022

Oh, no! Not an episode on baby’s first “smart” band! Yeah, that’s right, folks. They said it couldn’t be done. They said it wouldn’t be done. Well, we already done damn did it. Go grab your most over-sized suit and bugged out eyes and get ready to jog in place for half an hour because that’s about how long it’s gonna take us to explain why Talking Heads totally suck.

The Chainsmokers Suck

July 21, 2022

You do at least have to give The Chainsmokers credit for figuring out how to pander to the absolute lowest common denominator of people who pretend to care about music but, that being said, holy hell are these songs the worst thing you’ve ever heard or what? How is it actually legal to suck this bad at making music?

Taylor Swift Sucks

July 7, 2022

Well, we keep getting requests for more country episodes so today we decided to talk about a true, bonafide country legend, Taylor Swift. Usually we can’t find many nice things to say on the podcast but what an authentic and legendary artist. Swifties are sure to love this one.

AC/DC Sucks

June 16, 2022

How shocked would you be if anyone in this band was able to explain to explain alternating or direct currents? That’s right, folks. AC/DC is the soundtrack of being a complete dumbass. If chimpanzees could make rock music, it would be smarter than AC/DC. Actually, wait… Has anyone ever tried to teach an ape to play drums? An orangutan could for sure do Phil Rudd’s job. Okay, we’re gonna look into this just as soon as the episode is over.

Phish Sucks

June 2, 2022

A lot of people have asked us why Phish wasn’t the very first episode of this podcast. Well, do you really need us to tell you that Phish is one of the worst bands on the planet? No, you don’t. What you need is for us to tell you why Phish is one of the worst bands on the planet, so that’s exactly and comprehensively what we’re going to do. Find somewhere a little more comfortable than the ground to sit down. We’re gonna be here for a while.

T. Rex Sucks

The Talking Heads Suck

The Chainsmokers Suck

Taylor Swift Sucks

AC/DC Sucks

Phish Sucks

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