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YOUR FAVORITE BAND SUCKS IS BORING IS LOUSY IS AWFUL IS SAD IS LAME

One Simple Step to Being Cooler

April 4, 2019

Look, we already know most everyone you’re going to meet has terrible taste in music. With our scientifically designed merchandise not only will you be the coolest cat in the room, you will almost certainly have at least 1 more friend (especially if they love The Rollings Stones). That is just ONE piece of all that you gain by buying our sweet merchandise. Doubt what we are saying? Buy a shirt and send us a picture of you and your new friends partying in Vegas. You’re a winner and now everyone will know it.

Click HERE just in case you somehow missed the other links from all the excitement of knowing you’re about to be even cooler.

The Talking Heads Suck

August 4, 2022
Talking Heads Suck

Oh, no! Not an episode on baby’s first “smart” band! Yeah, that’s right, folks. They said it couldn’t be done. They said it wouldn’t be done. Well, we already done damn did it. Go grab your most over-sized suit and bugged out eyes and get ready to jog in place for half an hour because that’s about how long it’s gonna take us to explain why Talking Heads totally suck.

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The Chainsmokers Suck

July 21, 2022

You do at least have to give The Chainsmokers credit for figuring out how to pander to the absolute lowest common denominator of people who pretend to care about music but, that being said, holy hell are these songs the worst thing you’ve ever heard or what? How is it actually legal to suck this bad at making music?

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Taylor Swift Sucks

July 7, 2022


Well, we keep getting requests for more country episodes so today we decided to talk about a true, bonafide country legend, Taylor Swift. Usually we can’t find many nice things to say on the podcast but what an authentic and legendary artist. Swifties are sure to love this one.


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AC/DC Sucks

June 16, 2022

AC/DC Sucks

How shocked would you be if anyone in this band was able to explain to explain alternating or direct currents? That’s right, folks. AC/DC is the soundtrack of being a complete dumbass. If chimpanzees could make rock music, it would be smarter than AC/DC. Actually, wait… Has anyone ever tried to teach an ape to play drums? An orangutan could for sure do Phil Rudd’s job. Okay, we’re gonna look into this just as soon as the episode is over.

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Phish Sucks

June 2, 2022

A lot of people have asked us why Phish wasn’t the very first episode of this podcast. Well, do you really need us to tell you that Phish is one of the worst bands on the planet? No, you don’t. What you need is for us to tell you why Phish is one of the worst bands on the planet, so that’s exactly and comprehensively what we’re going to do. Find somewhere a little more comfortable than the ground to sit down. We’re gonna be here for a while.

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The Cure Sucks

May 19, 2022

If only you’d thought of the right words to say, you could have prevented us from doing this episode. Unfortunately, your favorite band is The Cure, which means you know exactly how much you deserve the punishment you’re in store for today. What will it be, then? Cherrypicking and criticizing a few songs the fans don’t even really like? Spending the whole episode talking about which brand of lipstick Robert Smith uses? Calling Morrissey the superior lyricist? You know you’re not getting off that easy. Go ahead and call in sick for work tomorrow, this is going to hurt.

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