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YOUR FAVORITE BAND SUCKS

Sunny Day Real Estate Sucks

October 6, 2022
Sunny Day Real Estate Sucks

Sure, if crying was an Olympic team sport then maybe it would have been theoretically possible for Sunny Day Real Estate to do something that mattered. But even if crying was an Olympic team sport then Sunny Day Real Estate would still need to have been able to remain a team long enough to get to the competition and there is just no way that would ever have happened. Now, is it this band’s fault so many clueless tryhards have thought and said so many idiotic things about their work and legacy? Of course not. Does that mean we’re going to be nice about it? Of course not. Sunny Day Real Estate sucks and it’s time to talk about all of the reasons why.
 

Maroon 5 Sucks

September 22, 2022
Maroon 5 Sucks

BREAKING NEWS: Today we interrupt our regular schedule to release an emergency update on the currently developing Maroon 5 situation. As fans of the podcast have come to expect, your trusted correspondents delve into the story and report nothing but the truth. These are the facts you won’t receive from mainstream media outlets.

21 Pilots Suck

September 1, 2022
21 Pilots Suck

How did this even work? Oh, the plan is obvious – recycle all the late ’90s/early ’00s angst of grunge and nu-metal with a twist of 311 and pretend you have no idea any of that stuff ever existed so people think you’ve come original – but, like, how did that work? Today we’ll get into these and other questions, just in case this band is ever able to recover from their most recent grease fire of an album and somehow remain relevant.

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T. Rex Sucks

August 18, 2022
T. Rex Sucks

There are only two types of music that have this many “fa la la la la”s in the lyrics, T. Rex songs and Christmas songs, and it’s still summertime so you know this ain’t no Christmas episode. Nevertheless, we come bearing a gift: clear-eyed analysis of one of the most infantile, overrated and pretentious musical projects of all time. Hey, Bolan, if your music sounds like the soundtrack to a ten year old kid playing with imaginary friends in an enchanted forest, go ahead and don’t name the band after one of the most fearsome apex predators to ever exist, okay?

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The Talking Heads Suck

August 4, 2022
Talking Heads Suck

Oh, no! Not an episode on baby’s first “smart” band! Yeah, that’s right, folks. They said it couldn’t be done. They said it wouldn’t be done. Well, we already done damn did it. Go grab your most over-sized suit and bugged out eyes and get ready to jog in place for half an hour because that’s about how long it’s gonna take us to explain why Talking Heads totally suck.

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The Chainsmokers Suck

July 21, 2022

You do at least have to give The Chainsmokers credit for figuring out how to pander to the absolute lowest common denominator of people who pretend to care about music but, that being said, holy hell are these songs the worst thing you’ve ever heard or what? How is it actually legal to suck this bad at making music?

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