Author: Tyler

If P.T. Barnum had lived to hear Death Grips, he’d have updated to quote to say there are 10 suckers born every minute because there hasn’t been such a successful grift as this in the music business since at least the Sex Pistols. The “music” is obviously unlistenable because the music is always irrelevant when it comes to bands who get fast-tracked through the hype machine. But Death Grips also sucks for reasons that go so far beyond the music itself. Want to know more? If only there was an episode of a podcast you could listen to about it…… Continue reading Death Grips Sucks →

It’s one of the most common responses to this podcast, “Oh yeah? Well what do you listen to?!?” The answer: whatever we want. Only losers sit around feeling guilty about the music they enjoy. Just to prove it, here’s a short playlist of undeniable jams, presented with plenty of the commentary you cherish and expect from your delightful hosts.

(NOTE: due to the inclusion of songs, this episode is available exclusively on Spotify. Spotify Premium users will hear the full songs and everyone with free Spotify accounts will hear only 30 second previews.… Continue reading Guiltless Pleasures →

It is undeniably tragic that so many people believe a trendy t-shirt design equates to good music. And you’d think doing an episode on Tool-for-sad-kids would be too depressing to be anyone’s idea of a good time but this was such a bad “band” on every level that it actually pushes past the bleakness to become hilarious. Make sure you’re ready to never willingly listen to Joy Division again before pressing play.… Continue reading Joy Division Sucks →

None of your other trusted sources of news were doing their jobs so it’s once more up to the Joint Chiefs of Stuff to come correct with the scoop: music has officially been scheduled for extinction. Oh, you haven’t heard how things are going at Rolling Stone magazine right now? You haven’t figured out why half the bands you see on someone’s t-shirt every time you go outside are selling their publishing catalogs? Well, friends, press play to receive the most critical information download of the year.… Continue reading RIP Music →

“EvERyONe ALrEadY kNoWs juSTin BiEBer suCks!” That’s you. And what you should be doing instead is shutting the hell up and pressing play because a) we’re hilarious and b) you’ll probably learn some stuff, smartypants.… Continue reading Justin Bieber Sucks →

First of all, none of you are prepared for how many of your friends are secret Pearl Jam fans. Go look up this band’s sales figures. You think it’s just everyone you’ve never met buying copies of these albums? Wake up, people! Not only is Pearl Jam’s music terrible, they are parasitic masterminds of commerce! The war with TicketMaster was just a smokescreen! All will be revealed…

P.S. Anyone else think it’s weird how Eddie Vedder sang about “goin’ hungry” even though he was clearly eating mashed potatoes while recording half his vocal parts on Pearl Jam albums?… Continue reading Pearl Jam Sucks →

Think you don’t have much to be grateful for this year? Think again! Mark & Tyler are here to save 2020 from the bloody jaws of Christmas with the only holiday tradition that still matters: our annual Christmas Music Sucks episode!

As a cold darkness settles upon the land and trepidation rises in the hearts of a noble proletariat, fear not! Beneath these terrible trappings lay great opportunities and wonderful gifts! (Translation: we finally figured out how to kill off Santa Claus this year. Yeah, it’s pretty chill.)

This one’s on video as well, so find the YFBS YouTube channel if you’d rather watch than listen as these selfless heroes once more rally troops for a War on Christmas.… Continue reading Christmas Music Sucks: Part 4 →

When we’re talking about a band as insufferable as Aerosmith, you really “don’t wanna miss a thing,” so enjoy the climax of this terrible group’s trilogy: 90s Aerosmith and beyond! Alicia Silverstone’s wedgie! Song doctors! Our review of Armageddon – the movie and real life!… Continue reading Aerosmith Sucks: Part 3 →

Welcome to Part 2 of the Your Favorite Aerosmith Sucks podcast!

In this installment, Mark helps Tyler through childhood trauma caused by Steven Tyler’s… well, everything about Steven Tyler. Also, everyone who thought the “Walk This Way” collaboration with Run DMC actually mattered was either a dumbass or an executive at MTV (and therefore a dumbass).

Step right up, folks. School is in session.… Continue reading Aerosmith Sucks: Part 2 →

If we had a dollar for every time someone told us to listen to Aerosmith’s early stuff, we’d pay Aerosmith to stop being a band. And they’d take the money. You know why?

The only thing they’ve ever been good at is taking money from idiots.

Aerosmith sucks.… Continue reading Aerosmith Sucks →