Tool Sucks

Tool Sucks

 

Tool is the official soundtrack of thinking you’re smarter than everyone else. Caveat lector, edgelords. We’re coming straight for the chinks in your armor.

In this episode, Mark and Tyler treat a dissection of Tool with all the respect the band deserves, which is none. The formula to create this product is laughably easy. There’s a reason Tool fans have a reputation as some of the worst people in America – they are.

Listen, realizing you’re an idiot is never easy but try not to overreact, okay?

Radiohead Sucks

Radiohead Sucks

Alright, hands off of each other. The circle jerk is over.

Radiohead’s sound went from an unoriginal whine to a mess of incompetent IDM. Then, they got to work making it harder for young artists to get a leg up in the business.

Mark thinks Limp Bizkit is for sure a better band than Radiohead and he’s probably right about that. Tyler thinks Radiohead ruined music criticism forever. Also, it’s worth listening to the music business dork discussion on In Rainbows’ release strategy to get to the part after that about how this band was rejected by James Bond himself.

This episode was recorded several months ago but the guys had time to come back and add more thoughts on Thom and company ripping off The Hollies, now that they want to come after Lana Del Rey for doing the same thing.

Radiohead sucks.

The Police Suck

The Police Suck

The Police hate being called white reggae, which is weird because this is what happens when a self-admitted “fake punk band” tries to rip off reggae.

Your super-spiritual aunt thinks Sting is enlightened and she’s wrong because Sting is audio blackface. Some guy who hasn’t bought a new album in 15 years thinks Stewart Copeland is a phenomenal drummer and he’s wrong because Copeland is one of the most overrated musicians in history. Nobody thinks anything about Andy Summers.

The Police suck.

Green Day Sucks

Green Day Sucks

Don’t feel bad for listening to Mark & Tyler dump on Green Day. They deserve it, maybe more than any other band on the podcast so far. They’ve stolen more songs than Led Zeppelin, their big political statements are all BS and, well, they suck.

In defense of Green Day, everyone who has accused them of selling out is an idiot. This band never started (or stopped) sucking for monetary gain because they have always sucked. Too old for their schtick? Check. Hypocrites? Check. Amateur hour with the booze? Check. Song thieves? Check.

LCD Soundsystem Sucks

LCD Soundsystem Sucks

This is what would happen if Derek Zoolander started a band. Next time New York City comes up with some trash like this, do everyone a favor and keep it to yourselves.

LCD Soundsystem sucks so hard, their own fans got mad at them for getting back together. That’s pretty bad, right? Would anyone know or care about this band if dude hadn’t founded DFA Records? No, they would not.

Mark and Tyler break it down.